Wish It Was There
by Delyra Broken
Summary: She never thought he would do that. But she expected too much. Now she faces the way that true love hurts. The feeling that she wouldn't wish to her worst enemy. Might be continued if you say. Rated T for language and possible future scenes.
1. The reason why I cry

**So hello again, guys! I'm happy that I could start my firts Code Lyoko fanfiction, especially because I'm currently addicted to the cartoon.** **I think because it's better than my own life...**  
**This story is surely not my best, but I just had to write it after that Friday night. Consider it as a surprise for my good grades on my exam and for the feeling of misrableness.  
**

** For people who read my Teen Titans stories, I haven't disappeared yet (but I'm planning on it), and I will soon post "Easter" in Holiday Love Calendar. **

**Anyways, read, review and enjoy!**

**Luvs ya,**  
**Delyra**

**P.S: I don't own: Code Lyoko, any of the characters, songs, Teen Titans, Instagram of anything. Just the plot and my account :D**

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**Yumi's P.O.V:**

I walked towards my home in the snow. Everything was beautiful in the night lights, except for me. A girl, whose heart won't ever be the same again, whose heart will die alone.  
I only had a short red skirt, fishnet thights, boots, a black shirt and a black leather coat on, so I almost froze. I didn't really care, though. My hands were red and already aching because of the cold, but I picked up some snow and started making a snowball. It really hurt, but at least I knew I still existed. For some idiotic reason.  
A car came behind me so I had to step off the road and stop. The driver stared at me suspiciously, maybe because of my extreme clothes, but I simply pretended he wasn't there. I wished it was my biggest problem! A pair of eyes was such a little thing for that night.  
I continued walking as the car left, making me blind for a second with the back lights of it. When I could see again, I looked around. There was only an old building with a graffiti on it's ruined wall saying "HATRED!". As I saw that word, anger took over my pain. I wanted to kick the shit out of him, to beat everyone who separated us. But it was no one else but him. He iced me, he let me dance alone, he didn't give a fuck. And I thought a goth girl could have a chance at a guy like him...  
Everything went just so well! Days before the party, he looked at me with that strange glance, he smiled at me whenever he saw me at school... And when he could have the opportunity to prove what I thought was there, he just pushed it away. He flirted with that bitch, Sissi, and she sat in his lap in front of the whole school. That club is shit, I guess I won't go there anymore. The first time we were there, Ulrich danced with Sissi like she was his girlfriend, and now this... And at the last song, the romantic slow one, what I hate, he kissed Sissi on the dancefloor. I was like "What the fuck? Am I that ugly?". But then I quickly left before my tears could fall. At first I thought it's not at all about looks. But soon I got to know that it's only about bitches and assholes, who only care about looks. As I was deep within my thoughts, I didn't realise that I reached the door of my home. I went in. I threw my bag down in the hall and I ran up to my room, to solitude. Maybe a hot shower and loud music will help.  
Avoiding my little brother and parents, I sneaked out to the bathroom and turned on the tap. I watched the hot, steamy water flow. The steam slowly made my reflection in the mirror blurry. Even the toothbrushes couldn't watch my miserable face. The face I never wanted to see again. After the water felt warm enough, I stepped under the shower, finally letting my tears fall. They felt good, like I could wash my pain away with them. With every teardrop that fell, my fairytale broke into small parts. I realised that I didn't want any more luck in studying, guys who love me, or anything, I just wanted to be with him. I was waiting for a love I will never ever have.  
When I finished removing my dripping make-up, I left the bathroom and quietly walked to my room. My eyes were too red and too puffy to let anyone see them. Especially Hiroki. He would make fun of me and tell everyone that I, Yumi Ishiyama, cried. But I finally ran out of tears, so I just flinged down to my bed, put my headphones in my ears and pushed "play" on my MP3.  
It played different songs loudly from my playlist "Depression", like "Cut" by Plumb, "If You Don't Mind" and "My Immortal" by Evanescence, "I Am Only One" and "Sleep Well, My Angel" by We Are The Fallen and many other sad songs. They were the only remains of my dying empire of perfection and fairytales. I realised that I just expected too much from that night. I made up that perfect world with perfect stories in my mind and I wanted them to be true. But reality is not like this and I had to learn it. I had to leave the world that I used to live in.

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**So what do you think? **

**Shall I continue it?**

**If yes, shall it be happyend, tragedy or something else? I really don't know so I need advice. (I have idea for every solution so this is quite a big dilemma LOL :D)  
**

**Please tell me in a review! I really do appreciate every word you write me :)  
**

**I hope you liked the story! RxR please! :)**


	2. My definition of Love

**At first I didn't want to continue this story, but Yuoaj009 and JustGrace13 encouraged me to. Thank you for your reviews! It was hard to write this chapter, but I enjoyed it. The first part is kind of a confession, half from Yumi and half from me. The rest is... the second chapter, I guess.**  
**Read, review and mostly, ENJOY! :)**

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_The definition of love..._

I always thought about love as a positive thing. You have a person who protects you, listens to you, cares for you... Now I see that all of this is only a daydream. Love is dark and evil. It leaves you betrayed, confused, depressed after you've felt it. You can't escape, the memories will haunt you every day in your life. And in the end you'll finally break and reach the point when nothing can help. This happened to me. I know how it feels, even if you say that I'm lying. It's the truth, believe it or not.

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**Yumi's POV.:**

I was lying on my bed for about an hour when I heard the familiar tone of 'Give Me Something More' by Lacuna Coil from my phone. It was Odd's ringtone, which meant something on Lyoko, according to the fact that he barely calls me for any other reason. What again? I turned off the music and picked up the phone.

- What? - my voice was raspy as I tried to force some words to come out.

- XANA. - was all he said. Why wasn't I surprised?

- Ah, I'm going... - I hung up and I started searching for my ordinary clothes. XANA has the best timing ever.

I put on my usual black turtleneck, black jeans and boots. I decided on a warmer coat and then I left the house. I knew I should have been hurrying, but I didn't feel the need to. Reaching the factory meant meeting Ulrich, which was something I never wanted to do again. At least not then.

While I was walking through abandoned streets, I felt many gazes on me. I didn't know what they were, I just felt them burning my skin under my coat. It was terrible, like it is in a cliché horror movie. So I thought I'd better run before I go ape. Too bad for me, the ground was covered with ice everywhere, so I almost slipped when I wanted to run. Why was that day getting even worse? My phone beeped again, now with another ringtone, which told me that it was no one else but Ulrich. No, I was not going to pick that up. So I simply ignored the shaking of my phone in my pocket. He can be fucked up.

I finally reached a street that looked way safer than the ones I walked perviously. The public lights made the ice sparkle, giving the street the light of day. It was beautiful. If I had time, I'd definietly stop to take some photos. But I almost reached the factory and I bet that those invisible gazes were XANA's work.

Stepping in the elevator, I sighed, getting ready for my day turning worse within two minutes.

- Hey Yumi, just in time! - Jeremy said, not looking away from the supercomputer.

- How are they doing? - I asked walking towards the scanner.

- Not that well. There are too much monsters and Odd seems losing too much life points recently.

- What sector?

- Forest. - he said before virtualizing me.

**Meanwhile with Ulrich and Odd...**

- Run, Princess, we got your back! - Odd yelled to Aelita, who was hiding behind a tree, near the activated tower. The only problem was the amount of monsters.

- I wouldn't be sure about that, Odd. If Yumi isn't coming soon, we're dead. Plus... - Ulrich was interrupted by two kankrelats. They fired their lasers at them, while five more were coming closer. Odd shot his arrows, succesfully defeating one. Ulrich dodged the rest of the lasers and also defeated a kankrelat. Five left. With some bloks, tarantulas and hornets.

- Where's Yumi now when we need her? - Odd complained, running away from three bloks which were aiming at him.

- I don't know. She was behaving strange tonight at the club. - Ulrich shouted back, stabbing his katannas into XANA's symbol on two of the remaining kankrelats.

They were in the soup. More and more monsters were approaching, reducing their chance to deactivate the tower.

- Aelita, hurry up! - they heard Jeremy's voice from outside.

- There is a problem! - her voice reflected her fears. The Scyphozoa was blocking her way to the tower.

- I really don't think so. - Yumi said, throwing her fans at the Scyphozoa.

- Yumi! - the others yelled in union.

**Yumi's POV.:**

As I threw my fans, I looked around on Lyoko. There were too many monsters to be true. We had to hold on until Aelita deactivates the tower. So I took the chance of not being attacked yet and gained the Scyphozoa's attention, in order to help Aelita. She immediately realised what I was doing and coontinued running towards the tower. Yeah! It was working! The Scyphozoa didn't notice Aelita going away.

- Yumi, be careful! - Ulrich told me with worry, what I thought was only pretended.

- You'd better not say a word! - I hissed.

- Oooh, growing tension! - Odd teased before he got devirtualized by a tarantula.

When my fans returned, I used them to eliminate two bloks. But instead of decreasing, the number of monsters was swiftly growing. If Aelita was not fast enough, we would be dead, unable to protect her.

- Behind you! - Ulrich shouted again.

- I told you, just shut up! - I was annoyed, though he only wanted to help. And thanks to my jealousy and quick-temper, I was shot on my left arm, being unable to catch my fan. It actually hurt. It was not the usual prickle, it really hurt. What's more, the wound was visible and bleeding.

- Jeremy? - I asked, terrified.

- You are not fully virtualized. This is why you are able to actually feel the pain.

- And why is that?

- I have no clue...

I was leaning onto a tree, looking at my new, bleeding wound when I saw Ulrich approaching. He could somehow get away from the monsters and hide behind a tree next to mine.

- You okay? - he asked reaching out for my arm, wanting to look at the wound.

- Why the hell do you care? - I pulled away

- Why wouldn't I?

- I don't know... Maybe because I'm not a bitch?

- And why does that count?

- Ask yourself!

- Guys, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but Aelita is in danger. Or will be soon. - Jeremy told us.

We both turned in the direction of the tower and saw Aelita being chased by the Scyphozoa. Holy crap! I forgot about it!  
Jeremy sent us Ulrich's overbike and we quickly hopped on it, not caring about our previous argument nor my childish behaviour. When we reached Aelita and the Scyphozoa, Aelita jumped on and I hopped off the overbike. Facing the Scyphozoa, my greatest fear came true. As I wasn't fully virualized, I felt everything as it was taking away my memories and no one knows what else. My head wanted to explode, tears were flowing down my cheeks and my body was aching terribly. I heard Jeremy say something about saving me, but my senses were too numb to understand it. Then all I saw was darkness surrounding me. The pain was growing and all I wanted to do is end it at all cost. I'd rather die. I felt empty as XANA was taking everything away from me. Sorrow filled my body.

- Let go of her! - I heard a familiar tone. I couldn't identify it.

My headache began to disappear as I fell to the ground. I tried to remember as many things as I could, checking how much XANA has taken away from me. I failed, my mind protested against everything which had something to do with my brain.

I felt arms under my neck and I heard that voice again, saying my name. I wanted to open my eyes, but I couldn't. Another voice said a few words about devirtualization and success and something about a deactivated tower, but I stopped making efforts for understanding it.

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**Back to Earth...**

Once we had returned to Earth, I was fine. I figured out everything in no time. The first voice belonged to Ulrich, the second to Jeremy, who said that something was wrong with the supercomputer when he virtualized me and Aelita successfully deactivated the tower.

Right then, I was in the park, sitting on a bench alone, listening to music and writing into my diary. I didn't want anyone to annoy me or even just talk to me.

- Yumi, are you okay now? - I heard Ulrich ask. I looked up at him, removing my headphones. I quickly closed my diary, avoiding the awkwardness of Ulrich seeing what's written inside.

- Seriously, why do **you** care about me? You have Sissi, go and be her playboy. - I answered with no emotion in my voice, saying Sissi's name with disgust.

- Ha! you're jealous!

- No, I'm not. I never was and never will be. Understand?

He sat beside me on the bench and smirked at me. What was so funny about all of this? Okay, a 16-year-old girl shouldn't be acting like this, but whatever.

- I bet you are.

- No! I already told you I'm not.

- Then why do you care about me and Sissi?

Think, Yumi, think! I had to make up an excuse within ten seconds.

- Because... Because she is a whore and you deserve better. - pretty good after all.

- How can you determine that?

- I know you, isn't that enough? - I faked a smile and looked at him.

- It is - he smiled back - later at lunch? If here's nothing with XANA?

- Okay for me.

He left and I looked after him. Since I didn't have any more lessons until lunch, I went back home. He was nice. And I thought I saw something in his eyes meaning agreement or trust towards my statement that he's too good for Sissi. Maybe I was only imiagining it. Nobody knows, and nobody will ever know.

I countinued writing into my diary.

_Dear Diary,_

_The past two days were ridiculous days. All started with that party..._

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**So how was it? I really hope you liked this chapter! And (before I forget) I want to say special thanks to Yuoaj009, who is a great writer and helped me with this story, as well as my next one. Thank you! :)**

**Luvs ya,Delyra**


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